No matter how much I try to calm down, I can’t stop being angry about the unbelievable, towering arrogance of the horrid Ben Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve, when he actually said, “One myth that’s out there is that what we’re doing is printing money. We’re not printing money. The amount of currency in circulation is not changing”!!

Astute Junior Mogambo Rangers (JMRs) immediately noticed my editorial use of two exclamation points to punctuate Mr. Bernanke’s words, which I deliberately use to bring your attention to a focused, laser beam-like intensity so as to fully appreciate the single, uncontested fact that Ben Bernanke is, being as polite as I can, a lying, stinking piece of worthless, dangerous, corrupt crap.

Well, he must act that way, I suppose, in defense of the Utter, Utter Failure (UUF) of the Federal Reserve and its slavish, unthinking, mindless obedience to the erroneous computer forecasts and printouts of their idiotic and tragically-laughable neo-Keynesian econometric crapola, which I cleverly and sarcastically sum up as, “Approximations and guesses turned into actions based on forecasts with precision to three decimal places!”

Of course, Junior Mogambo Ranger s (JMRs) already know that Ben Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve, is finishing up the job of destroying the economy by simply creating terrifyingly more and more money, a fearful over-creation of money that was started by the satanic Alan Greenspan, chairman of the Fed from 1987-2006, so use of the double exclamation points seems to call for some explanation.

The first exclamation point is to show that Mr. Bernanke is, indeed, a lying, stinking piece of worthless, dangerous, corrupt crap, as the fact is that Currency in Circulation is $976.4 billion, which is up $55 billion in the last year, and which is a 6% increase in the cash part of the money supply, which ain’t zero.

And let’s take a look at the monetary base! It is up $14 billion in just the last week! And the M2 money supply is up about $700 billion in the last year, too, taking M2 to $8,767 billion!

And let’s not forget that the national debt is horrifyingly up another $1.7 trillion in the last year, zooming the national debt to a staggering $13.8 trillion, which begs the question, “Where in the hell did $1.7 trillion in cash come from, with which investors used to buy this flood of new government debt, if not from the Federal Reserve creating it? Outer space or something?”

It was such a good question that I decided to call up the Federal Reserve to ask them. And I since I took the precaution to record the entire conversation, you can actually hear me tell the little receptionist who answered the phone, “I want to talk to this Ben Bernanke halfwit, the one who says the Fed is not printing money, so that he could to explain to me, and explain to this whole quadrant of the galaxy, where in the hell $1.7 trillion in cash came from to buy all of that new Treasury debt, if not from the Federal Reserve! And don’t tell me it came from outer space, when I know – for a fact! – that all this money did NOT come from outer space! And don’t ask me how I know, puny Earthling, but I know!”

Well, the storyline turned out to be a dud, as I waited on “hold” for a long time, there was some weird clicking on the line, and then the line went dead, which I take as meaning that the cowardly Bernanke is avoiding me so that I can’t force him to admit that he is drowning the country in money and thus he is destroying us with disastrous inflation in prices.

And if I could force him to admit that, then it would be but child’s play to get him to also admit, “The Mogambo, whom we all mocked and ridiculed because he sounds so stupid, looks so stupid and acts like an irresponsible lowlife, is actually right! Buying gold and silver is, as he says, the appropriate action to take when the money supply is being increased, and if you can’t see that for yourself, or believe it when you hear it from me, the chairman of the Federal Reserve, then you deserve what you get, you moron, which will be, as the Fabulous And Wonderful Mogambo (FAWM) has famously said, ‘You’re freaking doomed!’”

Ahhh! Would that life be that easy!

Fortunately, buying gold and silver is the easiest part of all, and it is so obviously the right thing to do that those who buy them say, “Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”