The Mogambo Stupidity Prize (MSP) is a not-so-rare honor bestowed to highlight the laughable kind of stupidity about inflation that is so prevalent these days that I find myself screaming at the radio, the newspaper and the TV, wildly ranting, arms akimbo like some kind of demented old man, about how inflation is the Worst Thing That Can Happen (WTTCH), working myself into a fit of uncontrolled anger that goes beyond “outrage” and into some dark, dangerous place in my heart where enemies, both real and imagined, are rounded up and thrown into a hellish prison, and I reign victorious in abolishing the Federal Reserve, reinstalling the gold standard for the US dollar, thus abolishing inflation forever and becoming a national hero whose courageous victory will live forever in the hearts of the people and in the history of the United States and the world, which quickly realized the beauty and simplicity of the gold standard in delivering stable prices and higher standards of living for everyone, instead of the grinding misery and suffering of inflation under a standard of expanding a fiat currency.
Thus, I will be loved and revered by everyone, except possibly my kids, who will probably still be insisting that they will hate me forever unless I let them go to Disney World with a guy they know as Dave, and his girlfriend, Krystal, who is a professional-pole dancer.
Naturally, I replied, “Disney World? Pole dancer? Sure! But only if I can come, too!”
They rudely said, “No” and made disgusting gagging noises. So I, indignantly, said, “No!”, too, but with an exclamation point to show them I was serious and my feelings were hurt. Ergo, the aforementioned “hate unto death” pour moi.
But that is not important, if a cataclysm of inflationary horror that will destroy the USA is not important, because we were originally talking about the Mogambo Stupidity Prize (MSP), but somehow veered off into another of my rambling harangues about the Federal Reserve destroying the purchasing power of the dollar with their relentless, ruinous, catastrophic over-creation of money, which seems important to me in that “You are soon going to be killed. Do you want to know why?” way, which seems to satisfy a basic human hunger, as evidenced by a lot of movies showing a guy dying of a gunshot wound, and he says to his killer, “Before I die, I want to know your name!”, which is pointless because he will be brain-dead in a few minutes and he will forget whatever name he hears. Moron.
Abruptly, I now veer BACK to the subject, which is to announce that The Financial Times is this week’s winner of the MSP in recognition of their winning entry in a January 8 editorial where they wrote, “Higher prices are not something to be scared of. Indeed, they are a necessary precondition to make supply catch up with demand.” Hahaha!
Higher prices are not something to be scared of? Hahaha!
You know that this is stupid AND funny because of the way I laughed “hahaha!” each time I wrote it, which was, at last count, two!
Well, as you knew I would, I have some Hot Mogambo News (HMN) for these Financial Times weenies: Higher prices ARE something to be “scared of” because it is exactly tantamount to saying, “Getting a bad, debilitating disease is not something to be scared of. Instead, it is a precondition to making advances in medicine catch up with demand.” Hahaha!
I wonder how these Financial Times morons would like to suffer from disease until production of curative medicine increases in response to the demand for cures, in the meantime suffering more and more, and then more and more suffering every month, suffering and suffering until, hopefully one day, the supply of medicine catches up with demand, and their disease is cured, although they will suffer a permanent decrease in health from the damage done.
They surely must like it as much as they like inflation, paying higher and higher prices for food until production of food increases in response to the shortage causing the higher prices, paying higher prices, and then more higher prices, and then more and more, every month, higher and higher, and then the prices of everything else go up in price, too, higher and higher, month after month, businesses being pressured to raise the “wage” part of that important land, capital and labor triumvirate, as are sellers of land and credit, even though your income will surely not increase along with prices, meaning that you will have spent so much money on subsistence rather than investment that you will have suffered a permanent decrease in financial health from the damage done.
As for me, I choose not to suffer inflation at all, and merely buy gold, silver and oil, which is so easy that I cannot help but exclaim in a giggly kind of rapturous glee, “Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”
